File #004 video

[unfringed]

[Walter turns on the video for the journal, sets it up and then moves back, sitting down on a chair in front of it. He's wear a lab coat over his usual checkered shirt and sweater cardigan combo and looks quite gleeful, gesturing toward the camera with a welcoming motion.]

Fellow denizens of Luceti! My name is Walter Bishop and I come to you with a unique request.

I would like to take a tissue and wing sample from every person in the compound - a simple test, really, very quick, not at all painful [Says the man who can tolerate electroshock therapy with a smile] - in order to help the scientists of our great community better understand the makeup of this universe.

Should you and several of your companions be from the same world, it would be most helpful if one or all could donate, although one should suffice if anyone is a tad squeamish.

I will be taking the samples this afternoon in the plaza.

Oh! And hot cocoa will be provided for compensation of course. I'm no madman.

This afternoon, starting at 1pm. Any and all volunteers are welcome! Those who don't wish to volunteer, don't worry - I'm sure I can find you somehow, yes?

[Action: Plaza, 1PM]
[As promised, Walter is bundled up in warmer clothes at the plaza with a little table of lab equipment and a rather large cooler that holds several Thermoses of hot cocoa. There are even little marshmallows for people who want them.]

Comments

[ Voice ]

[godbent]

Everyone in the enclosure?

[ Voice ]

[unfringed]

Harmless! Yes, hello! And yes, everyone in the enclosure would be preferable. A wider sample size means a better spectrum for my analysis of harmonic frequencies.

[ Voice ]

[godbent]

That makes sense, but what do you mean by harmonic frequencies?

[ Voice ]

[unfringed]

Aha! There's the brilliant question from a brilliant girl!

Every universe has its own unique frequency - sound, music note, call it what you will - that it vibrates at. This keeps all the other parallel universes from colliding into ours and essentially melting us all into goo.

Myself and another scientist posited that each person here in Luceti must be, by necessity, still vibrating at their own universe's frequency or they would fall apart at a subatomic level. Thus a sample of blood and skin can give me enough DNA to determine the frequency at which each person is vibrating - from that I can calculate the harmonic frequency at which Luceti vibrates in order to keep us all alive and in the same spacial plane. Isn't it wonderful?!

[ Voice ]

[godbent]

That... that's fascinating. Actually, that's very interesting! I'm more than willing to give you some samples, and I volunteer the rest of my Brigade for sample too. Oh, and my housemates.

[ She totally has jurisdiction over all of them ... ]

[ Voice ]

[unfringed]

Splendid! If you could just bring them to the plaza today at 1pm I shall be able to procure their samples. And then you can all partake in some nice cocoa and marshmallows.

[AND WOW, BEAT TOTALLY PROTESTS THIS, HARUHI. THAT'S SO NOT COOL.]

[ Voice ]

[godbent]

Are you making that much cocoa? That is a lot of it.

[ Voice ]

[unfringed]

I can make a great deal of cocoa - as much as is needed. It's why I've set myself up in the plaza, you see. Easy access to more materials should it be necessary.