unfringed | File#001 :audio:

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File#001 :audio:

H-hello? Hello. Hello, my name is Walter Bishop. Dr. Walter Bishop. I-I-I was just in my lab, you see, and now it seems I'm wandering around your town. I've lost my cellphone - and my coat. I don't have...I don't have his numbers. I can't--

Oh my. This book is fascinating, isn't it? Like a tablet computer, intranet only. Lacking in a few necessary functions, but it is certainly interesting.

...

I'd thought the LSD had worn off, but I suppose perhaps it had not after all. How quaint a hallucination this all is. I'm rather proud of thinking it all up. Even a bakery. Wonderful.

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O-oh, excellent! Then you know what you are! Sentient psychotropics, now that is a terrifying thought!

[And yet so gleeful.]

T-Tell me, my boy, do you happen to have any more? I'm afraid this world might melt away if the dosage begins to drop.

It is not a thought, dear stranger, it is most real. I am LSD in the flesh.

[He is not entirely sure what LSD is but according to the man's description it might be something used to cloud the mind.]

Unfortunately I cannot help you with that. Because this realm is also reality.

But that is impossible. I was just in my lab and I hadn't used anything to cross universes - wouldn't, really, not with what happened last time.

And-- Olivia... Olivia! She isn't here is she? Or Peter? The structural damage to the worlds would be too great if we were to cross any other way!

It is most definitely very possible! I think your surroundings are proof of how possible it really is!

Olivia is not here. Alas. You are without your bff and-slash-or lover.

You sound a bit like old people.

Well I am old. Older than you at least.

And Olivia is my son's lover, not mine. That would be strange.

And uncomfortable. For everyone.

Are you hip old people? Or one of the grumpy kind? The one that shakes his cane at those damn kids.

I see and I definitely understand. Wouldn't you prefer your son instead, then?

Only the hippest. Although I'm relearning what it means to be hip in the last year or so. Being stuck in a mental institution for 17 years puts a damper on keeping up with popular culture. They had this awful pudding there. Terrible place.

...And yes, I would and always will prefer my son. I've always wanted a daughter, but Peter is my boy. My precious child. [And he starts to lose it.] I can't-- I can't lose him. I have to find him. I have to or the worlds will end and-- I can't. I can't lose him again.

[A long pause...]

Are you a crazy doctor? One who is fond of laughing in a most maniacal way? Perhaps you went crazy because of the awful pudding. Perhaps you could re-invent the pudding with your crazy doctor abilities.

Do you have an evil lair? Or a mysterious lab? If so, are there bats inside said lab? Bats are mandatory, you see? Upon entering such a scary place they screech and flutter in a most alarming way. I...

[Loki silences when the tone of the man's voice changes.]

Sir? The worlds will not end, I am sure of it. Second of all, we have to determine where you lost him and start looking for him from that particular spot, you see?

Do not panic. Problems do not get solved by panicking.

I am a scientist, not a doctor. Doctors claim to heal, but don't. Scientists study the world.

...

[His tone cheers up a little.]

Although I do have a mysterious lab. Well, it's a lab, beneath Harvard. My old lab, but no bats. A cow - named Gene. She's such a lovely girl.

...But the worlds will end. They're already colliding with one another and two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. I--

...I was. ...I was in my lab. He was...Just on the other side of the door. But now it's all gone.

Mad scientist, yes. Similar to the ones in Midgardian films. Evil cackling, dubious experiments and the like.

[Hold up, hold up...]

Er...that is quite an overload of information. Please slow down. You have a cow named after genes, still your lab is mysterious and located under the town of Harvard.

So if I am correct, the life of your beloved son ended when the world ended behind the door of your mysterious lab, right?

If so...it is quite a tragedy.

Dubious experiments, perhaps, but no evil cackling. I'm more of a...strawberry milkshake person.

And it is under the University of Harvard - Harvard University. In my old office.

Peter isn't dead! [He couldn't be dead. They were just getting back to a place where they were...better.] He's simply...gone. Just. He isn't here. None of them are.

I woke up and they were gone.

By Odin's empty eyesocket! I am a strawberry milkshake person as well! But I fail to see the connection between evil cackling and shaken milk.

But if your lair is a secret one, why are you informing me about its location? That is rather foolish. I might go and inform everyone about it. And I will cackle most evilly over it.

[This is a joke, and the amusing undertone in his voice is quite audible]

Perhaps abductors took them away. Perhaps you are compelled to buy a device to destroy them.

Preferrably one with a large laser.

What a queer saying... Although apt, considering that his socket is quite empty. But that is beside the point - strawberry milkshakes are delicious and I finally perfected a recipe for the best milkshake ever. Perhaps you would like to try?

And I don't mind visitors to the lab. So long as we aren't dealing with contagions. I wouldn't want your face to melt off. [He chuckles a little.] That was a nasty one.

...Why would I ever hurt my son? ...I can't tell if you're crazy or simply trying to make me crazy.

Unless the perfect milkshake does not contain any secret-mad-scientist ingredients. The ones that can make me feel ill and the like. Then I think I would be quite excited with tasting the perfect milkshake.

[Even though Asgardians cannot be poisoned Loki still feels to put it out there.]

Melting one's face off is no laughing matter.

I have not said that. I was musing about giant lasers.

Oh no, Astral was my guinea pig on that. Now it is more assuredly perfected and missing anything that might make you ill. Unless you are lactose intolerant, that is.

Giant lasers can be useful, but only in some capacities. I would much rather have my tool kit and my field case. Neither of which have shown up yet.

I wish to taste the perfect shaken milk. I have declared myself an expert on perfectly shaken milk. If you wish to poison me please keep in mind that that would be futile and rather unnecesary.

Perhaps you can find them in one of the shops. Items tend to appear there, you see?

[He stares at the journal for a moment, perplexed as to why this boy thinks he's going to poison him. Is it normal where he's from to poison people with milkshakes?

It isn't like he's going to put flatworms in it like he would with Olivia - but that was for a purpose and this is just a milkshake.]

You're a very odd child.

But thank you. I will visit the shops and see if they have arrived. I just hope no one has touched them. I hate it when they touch my things - they never put them back where they are meant to be.

They say that often, yes. I am not odd at all. But has your mother never told you to never accept anything coming from a stranger’s hand?

[As if he takes that advice to heart...]

I am unsure about that. Perhaps I might have needed your things to put into my collection of things, you see? I would look out for people taking your things.

[Loki is only half-serious.]

But I'm not a stranger - my name is Walter Bishop. [As if that makes everything better.]

And if you touch my things, be careful not to disturb any of them. Some of the chemicals are very volatile and I'll also be very cross with you. The arrangement is very deliberate - so don't move anything!

Yes, and how should that improve this situation? I am Loki Laufeyson. But that does not improve the situation much either.

I will be kind to your things. I promise.

Loki Laufeyson...? You were named after a mythological god?

...

And don't touch my things. I'd rather you not.

No. I am Loki Laufeyson. [He shakes his head.] I hail from Asgardia, one of the Nine Realms. But I am aware of my mythological status on Midgard, yes. But I am very real, you see? Very, very real.

I am so real that I could lay my fingers on your things.

Don't touch them! Beyond invading my personal space by doing so, you could expose yourself to toxins that may very well kill you. I drank one of them once for that very reason, and you are not as versed as I am in the antidotes.

...

But you say you are Loki, God of Mischief, then? ...How curious. This world can trap even such extraordinary beings.

[Well, Loki doesn’t like the prospect of dying or being killed or any of that matter. But toxins...]

How are you still alive, then? Because, as I see it, your lab is akin to that of a mad scientist. A very mad one.

I will touch your stuff. But I will remain gentle.

Aye. There are even two of us. Try to wrap your head around that!

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File#001 :audio:

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[audio] [not late, not late at all]

[audio] [nopenope]

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[audio] [nopenopenopenope times infinity]

[audio] [nopeno-- dangit i can't top infinity]

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[audio] [/fistshake of impotent rage]

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